Friday, September 3, 2010

Generalizing people

Assalamu'alaikum..

Perhaps,this is my last post before I'm leaving home for raya.

Just to share my experience and little knowledge about something I love most i.e. human behaviour.

I received a question asking, how do I mixed around with people,especially foreign's friends,as it is kind of 'abnormal'for Malays.

Okay,personally,I learned through two stages i.e. theoretical and practical.But,on top of that,the most important thing is,you yourself need to have the enthusiasm of making friends.In this context,we as a Dai'e (hopefully I'm capable enough to say I'm a Dai'e)need to look in a perspective of 'making friends to spread Islam.'

The theoretical part,by hook or by crook,you have to read a lot.Reading in the sense of trying to implement it,not as you reading your academic book where the purpose is just to pass the exam.(am i right?)

It's not necessarily to finish up the whole book,then only you start with the practical one.It moves concurrently,theory and practical.

I have several suggestion of books which I think it really helps a lot.
First,the 7 Habits of highly effective people by Stephen R.Covey.
there are some good sub-topics which are related to our concern,e.g. Seek First to Understand then to be understood.

Second,How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.This book really touched on the topic.For instance,the 1st chapter,the author talks about 'criticizing'.Yeah,people tend to criticize others but they are not aware that it is actually making a gap the moment they're doing that.It is a fact that 99 out of 100,people don't criticize themselves for anything,no matter how wrong it may be.

Third,Personality Plus:How to understand others by understanding yourself by Florence Littauer.This book is more or less like Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps by Allan and Barbara Pease.Or even like the famous book entitled Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

And I'm still looking for this book.Need to go to Boarders or Kinokuniya or MPH later.But it tells us how different people's perspective upon the same thing.

For an example,an old lady went out for a shopping by herself.After settled her stuffs,she can't remember where she parked her car.While she is wondering,looking for the car,a guy came to help her.Then,more and more people came just to help the old lady.The old lady was so happy making friends with them.The moment she arrived home,she tells her husband about the incident happened and she is so excited telling about her new friends she met.However,the husband is looking at the other point where he then scolding his wife for being so careless and reluctant to discuss on 'the new friends'.

See,as a good Dai'e,you need to appreciate other's views.Understanding people thinking etc.And you need a good point and ways to counter.

I don't want to elaborate more.Get the books I've recommended and starts reading.You'll find many more interesting part which can be implemented in order for you to dive into the society.

I'm not saying I'm perfect enough,but I'm still learning.

Try implement it and you'll find it worth though.Once you have the experience,then you'll be much more confident in the future.Even at one point,you can read people's behaviour just by looking and having a small chat with him/her.

Ok then,enough for now.Hopefully you'll gain something.May Allah helps us.

Wassalam.

Notes:
1)Maybe this is my last post.I'm not sure whether I'm in a safe journey to go home.Please pray for me.

2)to know something,you need to read,read and read.Even if I asked my supervisor this and this,she'll keep on saying 'you have to keep reading.You have to read,read and read a lot'.Afterall,the first Revelation is about read!

3)Jangan lupa Ramadhan.Pemburuan lailatul qadar masih berjalan.

7 comments:

Syed Ahmad Fathi said...

Selamat berjuang di 10 mlm terakhir abg nabil. Semoga jumpa buku yang di cari :D

Abu said...

Alhamdulillah.. u r in the safe journey... hehe..

semoga Allah permudahkan urusan anta dan keluarga.. memburu redhoNya..

nur_izz said...

Aslm. I really appreciate this wonderful sharing. Indeed. I always find how hard to become a good muslim (not even a good daie). Always need bimbingan & tunjuk ajar. Any way, jazakallahu khairan atas usaha 'memperturunkan ilmu dan pengalaman' ini. May Allah bless us.

ukur kira said...

@Fathi:
Selamat berjuang jgk akhi.Insya Allah.Tq

@Abu:
Alhamdulillah..Power aa nta drive.hehe.Moga nta n keluarga jugak dipermudahkan urusan,Ameenn.

@'Izzah:
Just a small piece of cake.Hopefully u'll gain smthing.Sama2 kita share ilmu n pgalaman.Ameenn..

kauthar09 said...

salam
thank you so much for a great sharing n thought
i have one the books that you've mentioned but yet still haven't had much time to worth it till the max

"it's not necessarily to finish up the whole book,then only you start with the practical one.It moves concurrently,theory and practical."

appreciate it!

ukur kira said...

@kauthar:
u're most welcome.
It's ok.no need to rush when reading something.Take ur time and read it whenever u fell u wanted to read.

LuQMaN M.J said...

still trying to read ~~